What about No Pants?

You know those “No Shirt. No Shoes. NO SERVICE!” signs you see in stores? (Yes, we’re back on my other favorite topic, The Store.) First, I remember being kind of confused by the signs as a child. I thought perhaps they were suggesting that there were no shirts, no shoes, and no service to be found inside the store. I know they’re going for repetition with that format, but perhaps they should consider some question marks after the first two phrases. Just a suggestion.

Second, is it really necessary to post such a sign? Are there that many people trying to come into your store sans shirt and/or shoes? And then the most troubling question of all: the only stores I’ve ever seen this sign in are in the super grimy shady convenience store category. If any store were to allow bare feet and bare chest, it seems like it would be precisely this kind of store. Maybe they think they’ll attract a more discerning clientele if it’s made clear that This Store, my friend, has standards. But if you’re the kind of store that has to remind your customers to please shop fully clothed, it seems like maybe that’s a lost cause.

I was just rudely interrupted by Mr. Smarmy, who wheeled me into the kitchen and then left me there when I didn’t come up with any satisfactory snack suggestions for him. And now I lost my train of thought.

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